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Movie Review: Transformers (2007)

This is okay-ish for a mindless action movie, but in no way does this movie make me want to see the sequel.

Please, just...go away.

I know I’m one of the last people in the world to see this movie, but I figured I’d review it anyway. Transformers is something that is pretty much below average in every way. And for a movie with as many explosions this has, it’s still boring.

The biggest problem of Transformers for me lied with the characters. Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox both suck at acting. Shia overacts and is generally just really annoying whenever you see him on screen, and Megan Fox is one of the most dull actresses I’ve ever seen. Neither of their characters are likable at all, thanks to a combination of bad writing and bad casting. Try to think of the last movie you saw where you thought the main character was terrible but you still liked the movie. It doesn’t happen often.

The plot itself is okay, but it’s nothing that will blow you away. For a movie called Transformers, the Transformers get a relatively small amount of screen-time. It’s more of Shia LeBeouf just kinda saying “WTF LOOK IT’S A ROBOT” or being involved in some typical teenage drama bull****. This movie just goes on these tangents that have nothing to do with the plot that take up so much time it’s ridiculous. They could’ve cut an hour out of this movie and the plot wouldn’t be that different. Besides that, Transformers is a typical good vs. evil type of storyline.

Part of what really annoyed me about this movie was how some things just made no sense. I don’t mean “no sense” as in “a film student really studying some things could find some continuity errors”…I mean a five year old watching this movie could figure out that some things don’t make sense. For example…Shia LeBeouf is running away from a decepticon and happens to run into Megan Fox (by the way, there must be 50 clones of Megan Fox in this city or something. Shia LeBeouf just happens to run into her ALL THE TIME by some weird coincidence).

Anyway, he’s running away from the decepticon when he sees Megan Fox on a moped. He deliberately tackles Megan Fox off of the moped (it’s not like he bumped into her on accident…he deliberately tackled her). Then, he proceeds to tell her “I’M BEING CHASED BY A MONSTER, RUN AWAY”….wouldn’t she have an easier time to run away on that moped you just knocked her off? I made sure to rewatch that scene and make sure I wasn’t missing anything — but that’s exactly what happened. This stuff happens throughout the movie. It’s really lazy writing; they knew that they had to get Megan Fox in the scene somehow, but had no way to do it…so, they come up with something that insults the intelligence of the viewers.

The one thing you can count on from Michael Bay is that his movies will have some cool explosions. This does. But, I still can’t recommend this to anyone who just wants to see 2+ hours of  things blowing up because there are way too many scenes with Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox just sitting there adding nothing to the movie. I’m sure that with the right writing and the right direction, either one of the two can go on to star in some good movies…but with the Transformers writing team, there’s no chance of that ever happening.

Score = 4.0/10

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